But first, last night was a great night out (thank God for good friends), my first time in a costume as an adult.  Idk if it's that I've been slacking on my church attendance or that, it was never that serious, but I didn't think twice about going to the party.  Maybe because it wasn't on Halloween and it wasn't on a Sunday, but I being told Halloween was evil, never celebrating it, etc, etc.  And I don't completely disagree now, but for most people it's a reason to dress up, some in underwear.

In my time of pulling back from church, I've learned a whole lot, especially about myself.  What started out as me not going just to get some alone time has turned into a regular thing.  And now it's about to be over, it's time for me to rebuild and I know that church will be essential.  I know it'll be hard at first because not going has become sort of a habit, but I will push through, I think my life depends on it.  I was always a little wary of people who said that they didn't go to church because they could praise God on their own, at home.  And now speaking from experience, I know that you COULD but often don't, especially once absence is a regular thing. 

Studies have been coming out lately that suggest that people who go to church are happier, and in my experience that is absolutely true.  At a time when I'm fighting for my joy, I'm pretty sure that the battle is partly because of my separation, and also having too much time to think about myself and not be reminded of how good God is, especially in the faces, praise, testimonies, hugs, and love from my fellow worshipers.  Now church is far from perfect and that's clearly because it's made up of people who are fallible, and yes, often hypocritical.  But folks are hypocritical at work, and we all still go there, so what's the problem?!?! Anywho, my thoughts on this sunny Sunday.  Good day!

bottle up the essence or feelings of certain moments of my life, so I can have it again once it has worn off.  I have mountain top, life changing moments where I feel like I am/have changed, only to be back to or not to far from where I started in the first place.  A lot is going on, and I just wonder when I'll be able to breathe again.  When will the light get clicked on and remain that way.  Idk.  Living life, trying to take it day by day. Ok, NYC in the morning, for what I believe will be my last trip til spring.  Church, Potluck, lovely hotel, Mary J & Jazmine Sullivan ahead, insecurity and uncertainty behind.  Thank You.